Work then Neverland with the rest for the first time. Later i went to Oasis and Sabai by myself.
i tried to make the uncomfortable feeling in my chest go away. I sat by myself , i drank . I sat there trying to stand it. I sent out msgs i dont remember sending. I requested for the song ya-pid by bodyslam. The first time i heard him sing it i knew i was falling. I still fcukin like the song. Go listen. Just wanted to hear him sing for the last time but the other singers sang it. Thanks timothy & dennis for being there. Timothy says : Take stone and knock your head, wake up from your dream la silly girl. & he called him a bapok. LOL ! Sotong says : Ta bu zhi de ni shang xin. Thanks for all of your concern. whenever im sad I know i can turn to you all & i know u guys will make sure i WAKE UP. Well , still couldnt stand that ache in my heart, over to geylang with Eunice,Elva & the rest , Alan's room to play with his husky , smack to ease the disomfort then home to sleep. Btw Happy Birthday Dad.




Saturday.
After work , went to Boatquay with some schoolmates , Leon etc . Baby's birthday. Saw so many friends. Metup with yeowkiat , vincent , Jiawei and friends at raining bar. ( All my MDIS school mates ) Eunice & co left for Neverland. Later went to Geylang Lor 14 to eat .



Baby , Eunice , Elva , Tangtang & alan came over to look for me. We went over to alan's room for awhile then to the hotel yeowkiat & friends booked then back to the room. Running here and there. Nothing to do anyway.

Ahlian sey, ohmygod.



Alan's room. $10 per day. Sometimes, this is the way i live. Sleazy and easy.

Eunice and Tangtang. My sisters mean everything to me. They're the best ♥
we're so so close , i never ever wanna be without them .
Absentees: Sandy & Lianlian.
The upper deck is my place. HAHA =D

Nine ppl and one dog, one room , two double decker beds.

ILOVEYOU DOGGY ! So damn cute , like really lahs.

upper deck .


Sexy Baby & Elva sleeping. hahaha. I've got no space !

The husky's name is Ledi , at first i thought was Larry. HAHA . I just msged Alan to tell Ledi i miss him. Alan's reply : if i got nothing to do , i can go over and see Ledi , He is still sleeping , Dont know what time he will wake up. So cute lahs. Its true Ledi is so lazy la , He always sleeps under the bed and when i shake him & pull his paw , he still dont wanna wake up. I must blow smoke on his face then he'll use his paw to push my hand then turn the other side. So smart. What will i do without all these people who make my day man (: I miss Kasper so damn fucking much.

Im down with fever,cough and chest pains. Its quite bad. I cant afford to fall sick at a time like this. I cant go to work and there is totally no money at home. We're like living by the moment la. Quite a bad situation. I've got to put this home right. Anyway im looking for this grey adidas jacket , velvet material . I think its a limited edition. I really really want it la. Also looking forward to shopping hopefully soon and i wanna go on a holiday. Last thing to add on , my fav thai singer fiona fha wongsiri accepted my friendrequest on facebook =D She's so sexy and pretty , i wanna be just like her. In case u didnt know she's the girl in Mtv hua lai tood (: I only have 2 fav female celebrities which is she and nicole richie. I always copy their dressing and style , hairstyle whatever. Sssshh ! LOL. Right now im suffering , i make the right moves but im lost within , i just end up getting hurt by myself. Alrights i'll end it here nothing much to update. So damn freakin boreddd.


i cant hold on , its all too much to take in .
i cant hold on , with thoughts of of failure sinking in .

Metup with Lianlian after one whole long month. All the quarrels , miunderstandings whatever shit. Its all water under the bridge now. Also metup with Isabella and shirlene. Later Lianlian,abk and i cabbed over to geylangl lor17 to book a hotel. Elva 's at lor 19doing her hair and Eunice at Lor15 accompanying her bf.





Brightstar hotel =D i'm getting fatter , she's getting thinner.






Alrights i need to leave for work already . Times are bad. Walked over to lor 15 to meet Eunice then we cabbed to work (: Well , today work is like shit.

Ended work early. Elva left first. Eunice and i cabbed to Oasis and Sabai as usual , not many people. Not 3 yet. Saw some friends here and there but i wanted to go over to Sabai. Timothy was nice enough to take out his Martell , so that Eunice and i can sit at a table =D Thanks/.
Anyway i think im crazy over this thai singer , Well you could say he has all that i ever wanted in a guy. Sweet , caring , loving and generous. But i've always known that all good things must come to an end. He's going back to thailand on the 24th, he says i can go back to thailand with him anytime since he goes and comes so frequently and that he will bring me here and there , hmmms lazy to elaborate. Well i just listened , wonder if that day will really come where we go to Bangkok together. I've got my passport and cash. Only thing is i've got school. If that day really comes i'll be flying man. HAHAHA. But of cos what more can i expect from this kind of relationship. Im already lucky enough to even get acquainted with him. Each time after he finish singing he will come to my table to accompany me. I like the way he holds my hand and kisses my forehead and strokes my hair. Timothy asked me not to be "gong" i know!! But that feeling of the moment is ohmygod. The last few relationships were short ones and they didnt work out but i didnt have such a strong feeling for any of the rest. what was a breakup man? I havent felt this way , like a special feeling in such a long time. its that kind of feeling where u really really want to be in a serious relationship with the person for a period of time, but i really think its impossible. Sad that he's the one who made me aware that i'm capable of loving again. Cos i really thought my heart had already gone numb and has lost interest in relationships but i always have to meet the wrong person and now i've to force this feeling to fade. You all dont know my past so you all wont unds.

Anyway i wanted to leave already as Eunice was feeling tired. So i told him im leaving alrdy but he asked me to wait for him cos he's going to sing for the last round then we can go off already. Eunice left first cos she cant wait any longer. She went to the hotel to meet Lianlian and Abk. After jade finished wrk we cabbed to geylang to look for Lianlian and the rest at the hotel. He bought some drinks up & we slacked , slept . Afternoon i cabbed home. Lianlian and abk extended their stay. Hmmmms just really very happy to even be with him , His love and care and concern plus he's so cute and funny always making funny faces.
Its like being with a star , but im forcing myself to slowly give up these feelings cos i'm afraid to get hurt later on . Just count myself lucky (: Anyway heard some people saying that he looks like wu zhun? come to think of it just a little. Hmmm but he looks much better than the photos. I love his singing and dancing and everything about him. LOL. anyway i always dont get what i want. Thats life =D









At this point of time , i really really really really like him alot lar. Whatever he says i dont take it seriously , just happy for all the happy feelings he's given to me.
Cos i dare not hope for more. Even when he says he love me and so on , i just dare not believe it. I also dont wanna think so much. I'm not so thick skin as to call and msg him. Hahaha. Cos i know giving up is the best way. Look at it from a positive way , im considered lucky already. So many many other prettier girls crazy over him. Right now , i hope god will bless me with a good and loving boyfriend where we can start a relationship and be together for a long long time man because i know i am actually capable of loving again! i havent lost the ability. As they time heals all wounds but the scars remain. Although all my scars are like damn visible but ive grown used to it already. (:

how true ? hmmmms , not sure myself

jaslin took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! ""He feels life in general is handing her to many d..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

but some parts not true at all , hmmm i just anyhow choose the colours i like best. I dont have that sort of urge to stand out or shine or be admired or be top. LOL! i cant be botherd manzxzxzx . haha !

Starbucks,Eastpoint to study with Janet then over to my home. She helped me design and decorate a pretty pink home for my pet charbel on facebook, pet society. Hahaha, Thanks!
she fell asleep on my bed. I left for Oasis/Sabai to meet Eunice , Elva and friends! Super duper happy cos i got to take a picture with my favourite thai singer James and he asked for my number. ahhhhh (: Saw Doris at Oasis. Saw yingying at Sabai and x bf jason. Drink and drink and drink. Over to Orchard Plaza with friends , then cabbed home. 0817am. Janet's still sleeping.

I cant believe this ! super duper happy lahzxzx. Even thou i know i look ugly in all the pics =/
when i look in the mirror and i look at myself in the photos , its not the same face i see. why uhhs ? irritated.


Elva elva elva elva elva elva elva elva elva elva !

Ex boyfriend Jason . hahahaha . why dont look like us ? How would i know man .

Afternoon 3pm i went to school. EXAM. After school went to Commonwealth with my classmates Chermaine,Yuexuan,Daryl,Sylvester,Janet,Dora and Cheryl (: I've got the nicest classmates ever. We ate at Longjohn. Daryl,Janet and i took Mrt back to East-side.
Janet and i went to Tampines Mall to meet My sis and Usa. Bought some stuff from cotton on. Slacked at Jco,The donut cafe then home with my Sis. Mum and i had Raw salmon also known as sashimifor supper.Super delicious. My favourite.
Showered, was already 2am. Time to sleep? Nahs. Cabbed down to shenton way to meet friends. Like finally =D Oasis and Sabai. I'm a lil moved by ahwee's sincerity. Thanks for always treating me so well (=
After that tangtang ,Elva and i cabbed to Orchard plaza for Foot Massage, then to Geylanglor 18 for chickenrice. Its the best in Singapore, in my opinion. then friend's hp shop to slack. Boring. 8am we cabbed to Mustafa for shopping. So many things i wanted to buy but im so broke. So i didnt buy anything. Just endured. Hate this feeling. Hate it so much. Hahaha.
i've decided to sell my vaio laptop. I cant stand having no money. Ohmygod.
Shared a cab home with tangtang. Reached home at o942am. Supposed to meet my classmate later at 330 Eastpoint starbucks to study but im so damn tired now. Shall have it postponed to 530pm. I'll upload the pics soon. Alright this is the end of my so very long day.

I HATE THIS PART.
The first day of the rest of my life. HAHS.
totally stop everything. Extreme fatigue, recovering.
just keep sleeping and sleeping and sleeping and sleeping.